Sleepyhead - Not going to work today.
Anal Glaucoma - AnalGlaucoma
The Boss - Need a New Job?

Anal Glaucoma
"Anal Glaucoma" a Stay-Home-from-Work or Find-a-New-Job Line

Anal Glaucoma's Sleepyhead A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of Anal Glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

He asks: "What the hell is Anal Glaucoma?"

She responds: "I can't see my ass coming into work today."

I can't come into work today because of eye trouble.... I just can't see working today.
If things are that bad, maybe it's time for a job search to seek new employment.
Use your talents to find a job that you like, which is another reason to take the day off...

So, our afflicted subject started looking for a new job. After all, in America, the land of opportunity, she should be able to find one more to her liking. (That's really why she called out "sick.")

After being awakened by her alarm clock [made in Japan] she poured a cup of coffee from her coffee maker [made in China] while calling her boss with her iPhone [assembled in China]. Then after a quick shower, she dried her hair with a blow-dryer [made in Hong Kong]. She then put on a new blouse [made in Sri Lanka], designer slacks [made in Pakistan] and dressy shoes [made in Korea]. After cooking breakfast in an electric skillet [made in China] she sat down with her calculator [made in Mexico] to see how much she had left in her checking account.

After setting her watch [made in Taiwan] to the time on the radio [made in China], she got in her car, [made in Japan], filled it with gas [from oil produced in Saudi Arabia] and continued her search for a good-paying American Job.

At the end of another discouraging day, she checked the ads on her computer [made in Malaysia] and being discouraged yet again, decided to relax for a while. She put on her sandals [made in Brazil], poured herself a glass of wine [made in France] and turned on the TV [made in Indonesia]...

...and then wondered why she couldn't find a good-paying American Job.

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